


Click, Develop, Repeat

by Bastilleheadmumfordheart



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron is a goddamn idiot, But so is Alexander so it balances out, M/M, Panic Attacks, TJeffs is a loveable asshole, Underage Drinking, Very very very vaguely implied violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-29 11:16:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6372583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bastilleheadmumfordheart/pseuds/Bastilleheadmumfordheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In hindsight, Aaron should have known that Alexander would be the one to screw up all his carefully laid plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aaron Burr, Sir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The photographer!Burr AU no one asked for, with a giant helping of angst and pining as a gift for a friend.

Aaron knew the minute he saw him that the kid in the blue hoodie was trouble. He wasn't particularly striking in appearance, with brown eyes and a high hairline, but Aaron noticed him anyways. The blue hoodie hung off his body like he'd bought it several sizes too large, and by the looks of his thin wrists, poking through the sleeves, that wouldn't be terribly difficult to do. His fingers were also thin, but they looked energetic rather than frail, constantly moving as he typed out a message on his cell, fiddled with the strings of the hoodie, twirled around his long ponytail, tapped impatiently on his arms. 

Aaron started as a familiar, smooth voice called his name. It was James Madison, who had been friends with Aaron's ex-girlfriend Theodosia. He didn't really want to deal with this at the moment, but he swallowed his discomfort and answered Madison's questions politely. Yes, he had been accepted to Princeton too. No, he couldn't believe the coincidence. Yes, he would absolutely love to hang out sometime, but right now he had somewhere to be. (Aaron didn't really feel bad about that last little lie if it would get him out of this awkward conversation). 

By the time he turned back into the crowd of excited, babbling freshman, the boy in the blue hoodie was gone.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was three days after that before Aaron saw the blue hoodie boy again. He was at the bookstore on campus, picking up a list of books for his upcoming classes when he saw a familiar ponytail bobbing inquisitively among the shelves across the aisle from him. This time, the kid was wearing a red hoodie, and Aaron couldn't help but notice how much better the color looked with his skin tone. 

For a moment he was struck with a strong urge to go over and introduce himself, but he quickly dispelled that thought. He turned back to searching the shelves for the next title he needed (yet another book written by his professor, really how much more self centered could you get), but it had only been a few minutes when he was interrupted. 

"Hi," a startlingly close voice said. Aaron bit back a shocked yelp and dropped all his books on the floor.

It was Ponytail Boy, smiling cheerfully at Aaron as he bent down to pick up his books, dusted them off carefully, and handed them back to him. "I'm Alexander," he said, and wow his voice was much deeper than Aaron had thought it would be. "Alexander Hamilton, to be specific, which, of course, one should always be. But you can call me Alex. Most of my friends do." 

Aaron was still blinking, trying to sort through the rapid stream of words coming from Alexander's mouth, when the long-haired boy snapped his fingers as though he'd just remembered something. "You're Aaron Burr, aren't you?" His voice was suddenly at least an octave higher. "Oh my god, you are Aaron Burr! I'm such a fan of your work, it's a huge inspiration! I mean of course it's such a political statement but even just artistically, your photos are beautiful. I've never seen such contrast and-" 

Aaron shoved aside the disappointment he felt that Alexander would just jump to the same conclusions everyone else had about his photos, but a residual bite of anger remained. "They're not," he interrupted quietly, watching the expression on the boy's face go from elated to confused. "They're not a political statement." He was shaking so badly that he was sure Alexander knew something was wrong. He had to get out of there immediately. "Thanks anyway. It was nice to meet you, Hamilton." 

And with that, he fled the shop, unsure of why this strange boy had been able to get so much out of him, and feeling surprisingly guilty for his behavior in a way he hadn't in years.


	2. Me, Myself, and I

By the time the first day of classes arrived, Aaron was feeling fairly confident about his prospects. He had easily been able to to find all of the supplies he needed for his upcoming first semester, met with each of his professors, and figured out a way to successfully ignore his obnoxious roommate, Charles. 

He did occasionally find himself worrying about whether or not the campus photographic community would accept him and his work, but whenever he found himself panicking, he reminded himself about how far he had already come. He was Aaron Burr, and he had made it to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country, and he was going to make it even farther than that if he had anything to say about it. He was going to make his parents proud of him. 

As he left his dorm on his way to the first class of his first day of college, Aaron allowed himself to feel a rare surge of pride. Things were going well. 

He arrived at his first class of the day 15 minutes early, hoping to make a good impression. As he approached the heavy mahogany double doors of the lecture hall, Aaron recognized a familiar hoodie-clad figure sprawled out on the floor in the hallway. 

"Hamilton?" Aaron found himself approaching the other student cautiously, as if he were a wild animal. Propping himself up on his elbows, Alexander beamed at him, as if their last interaction had been completely normal and unmarred by Aaron's rude behavior. He felt a pang of guilt at the thought, but put it aside hastily. 

"Hey there, Burr!" Aaron felt strangely disappointed that the smaller man hadn't used his first name, but decided that he really couldn't complain considering that he had been the one to start off calling him Hamilton. 

Immediately, curiousity set in as he realized that Alexander was bent over a tattered red notebook, scribbling furiously. Aaron was about to ask him what he was writing, but a group of three other freshman swarmed Alexander, laughing as they greeted him noisily. 

At first, Alexander looked annoyed at the intrusion, but he soon sat up, stashing his notebook in his bag, and joined in the conversation. He threw his arms around the smallest of the men, a freckled beauty with kind eyes, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. The other man blushed hotly, the color setting off gorgeously against his creamy skin, and Aaron felt a bolt of envy. Surely it was only because of Freckles' beauty. It definitely was not because Alexander touched him so tenderly. Not at all. 

During class, as Alexander and Freckles smiled adoringly at one another and Aaron absolutely did not count the number of times their hands touched, he fought down a rising swell of panic and promised himself one thing- that he would stay the hell away from Alexander Hamilton.


	3. Magnets

The night of Aaron's first official college party he was really not planning to get drunk. Not at all, actually. One of the campus' most popular new groups, The Federalists, was was throwing a big party, and considering that Aaron knew one of its founding members, he thought of it as a great opportunity to get involved with some new people on campus, maybe get some ideas for new compositions. (Even if it was going to be awkward being introduced to people by Madison).

By the time he got there, the party was already in full swing. The lights were so bright they were visible from the street three houses down, where Aaron parked, and when he switched the ignition off he could feel the bass pumping through the rubber soles of his shoes. It really was amazing that no one had complained about the party to the police yet. 

He had only been inside for a few minutes, squeezing his way through the hot crowd of people in a desperate attempt to find Madison before he got too anxious when he saw it. Alexander. Alexander Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton, doing a keg stand. 

A hot wave of something not quite anger, not quite despair rolled through Aaron as he watched. Alexander laughing, Alexander swaying distractingly fluid hips and looping his arms around a tall someone's neck. 

Suddenly, the half full can of beer in his hand didn't seem like nearly enough. 

Aaron threw himself into partying more energetically than he knew himself to be capable of. If he couldn't find anyone to talk to about photography projects, he might as well have a good time. He was dancing with a pretty, but dangerous looking girl with lush hair and dark eyes when the room began to spin. Fuck, he was drunk. 

The girl's face began to look more concerned that interested and Aaron realized that he was stumbling away from her, desperate to get out of the crowd. The lights, the music, the people- all of it seemed to be keeping him trapped there. 

Aaron felt the panic rising up within him, searching his lungs for a weakness through which it could drown him. He staggered through the house, colors and sounds blurring together like a kaleidoscope of confusion, until he reached the bathroom. He reached out for the doorknob with shaking hands, but the door opened before he could reach it. 

And Aaron found himself face-to-face with Alexander. Instantly, his mind quieted, as if all his swirling thoughts had resigned themselves to the fate of being less important than the impossibly beautiful man before him. 

As soon as Alexander opened his mouth, expressed some concern about Aaron's flushed face and swaying body, offered to drive him home, Aaron knew what he wanted from the talkative, wild, gorgeous man. The last time he had decided he wanted something, Aaron had waited eight long years to get it. 

This time, he didn't plan on waiting even one.


	4. To Be Alone

Aaron was an old pro at waking up alone. After all, when you're always traveling, on the way to this exhibition or that promotional interview (or the other times he didn't let himself think about, passed from relative to relative like a chore), you don't really have time for companions. At least, he hadn't.

When he was younger, he'd used to dream about the day he'd find out that they (the doctors, the police, the well-meaning strangers) were all wrong. That they had always been wrong, that his parents hadn't died in that hospital, in separate beds and separate rooms, unable to kiss or touch or even just talk to one another. He would dream of the day his mom would walk through the front door. She'd laugh and tell him all about wherever she'd been for so long, and kiss his forehead just like she used to. And when he woke up, she'd be there telling him, "Aaron, honey, wake up. Your dad's making us pancakes!" 

When he was 13, he nearly beat another kid half to death for his jeering, sharp words- "Your dad must have been sicker of you than I am to just go and die like that", and he finally realized that the dream would never be real. That day, hiding in the bathroom, blood drying on his knuckles, Aaron Burr decided that he would never let someone get to him that way again. And he never did. 

Oh, there had been Theodosia, and it was true that whenever he had looked at her a pale gleam of joy shot through him like a bird streaking across the spring sky. And he was certain he'd loved her, at least as much as his own nature would allow. But for all the things Aaron would have done for her, in the end he couldn't rip the fabric of his new self away to reveal the interior of his childhood, and she'd left. It had most certainly hurt him, nearly more than anything had after he'd learned to handle pain, but he had handled it, and he was still here. 

After all, he was Aaron Burr. Aaron Burr didn't let things get to him. 

And despite this legacy of stoicism, when he woke up the morning after the party and Alexander wasn't there, Aaron was absolutely crushed. He didn't remember much from the previous night, but what he did remember had an almost dreamy quality that felt like silk to his mind's touch. They were just snippets really; Alexander's thin fingers tapping a steering wheel rapidly, the way the headlights cut paths of yellow through the night, the weight of Alexander's body under Aaron's arm as he braced himself to walk. 

And then...the one thing he did remember with perfect clarity came to mind. Alexander had kissed him. 

Aaron remembered being dumped rather unceremoniously down on his bed. He knew that he'd been giggling at a high pitch, suddenly feeling loose all over. Alexander had shushed him repeatedly, saying something about Aaron's roommate, to no effect. Aaron had finally fallen silent, only to start babbling about something. What it was he didn't remember. 

What he did remember was the look on Alexander's face-like something had finally stunned him to silence. His mouth had been open slightly, eyes wide and pretty...and then, he'd leaned forward and kissed Aaron. 

After that, things got fuzzier. In fact, he was pretty sure he'd fallen asleep in the middle of the kiss, so drunk he couldn't make it much longer. 

Aaron wasn't certain of many things in his life. He was a firm believer that were no such things as absolutes. But with every fiber of his being he knew two things to be absolutely true: that he was falling for Alexander Hamilton, and that it was the worst thing that could have possibly happened.


	5. Glory and Gore

For several days after the night of the party, Aaron tried to convince himself that what had happened with Alexander didn't really matter. It had only been a kiss, and besides, he really didn't have time to worry about it anymore. There was work to be done. 

Aaron threw himself into classwork with a feverish focus. He played no attention to Alexander or his (ridiculously pretty, innocent) boyfriend (despite the delayed guilt he experienced the first time he saw the two of them after that night) in class. 

By the end of the week, Aaron had established a workable routine. He got up every day, went to class, eating as needed between each one, and then he stopped off at the library to study for a few hours before going home to pointedly ignore Charles' attempts to wind him up, avoid thinking about Alexander's lips, and fall into an exhausted sleep. It was working. All he had to do was keep his head down and work hard and he would be out of Princeton with honors, sooner than he could blink. 

In hindsight, Aaron should have known that Alexander would be the one to screw up all his carefully laid plans. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a Tuesday, and Aaron had plans to meet James Madison at a pizza place on campus to discuss a possible project photographing members of The Federalists. 

The smell of fresh pizza filled Aaron's nose as he pushed through the door. He saw Madison sitting at a table in the center of the room, and went over to join him. Madison smiled and stood, pulling Aaron's chair out for him. "Hope you're hungry, I went ahead and ordered for us. Is that ok?" 

Aaron murmered his assent, reaching into his bag to pull out the sketches he had prepared for the meeting. Madison reached over and placed his hand on top of Aaron's, smiling with amusement at the other man's confused expression. "Can't that wait til after we've eaten, Aaron?" Madison leaned across the table slowly, voice soft. "There's so much I've been dying to ask you." 

Fuck. This was a date, Aaron realized. His stomach churned uneasily as he prepared himself for the unpleasant task of rejecting Madison, but he never got the chance. 

A tall, broad-shouldered man with a commanding look, who Aaron recognized as Thomas Jefferson, a TA for Professor Washington, strode into the shop and yanked Madison bodily from his seat. He growled something inaudible into his ear and finally turned his withering gaze on Aaron. "I hate to be rude, but I'm going to be anyway," Jefferson drawled with disarming calm. "Get the fuck out of here and go home, artist boy. James is going to be....otherwise engaged for the day." With that, he pulled Madison through the door of the shop. 

For a moment, a stunned Aaron wondered if Madison needed his help, until he remembered the tiny smirk on the other man's face as Jefferson grabbed him, and decided against following them. It was pretty obvious that, were he to follow the pair, he would end up seeing a lot more of his acquaintance than he wanted to. 

The episode made Aaron a little uneasy, but all in all, at least it would be a story to tell at parties. He supposed the two men were good together, in a fucked up sort of way. Smooth, diplomatic Madison and powerful, manipulative Jefferson...They weren't exactly opposites, but whatever they were, they clearly had chemistry. Aaron couldn't help but wonder if it would end badly for them, though. 

Oh, well. At least someone was getting laid around here.


	6. Opportunity

One day not too long after the incident with Madison, Aaron walked into his Politics class to a murmer of excitement. Everyone seemed to be gossiping furiously about something, but it wasn't until he sat down next to a girl he had talked to a few times before that he found out what it was. 

She was a pretty girl named Peggy who was usually rather quiet, preferring observation and introspection to overenthusiastic verbal displays, but had Aaron just met her that day, he would have thought her extremely outgoing. 

She tapped his arm frantically, looking at him with a gleam of mischief in her eyes. "Aaron, you'll never believe what's just happened." She paused for dramatic effect before continuing, "James Madison has resigned his position in The Federalists!" 

Aaron nearly choked on his own spit. It was extremely undignified, but he managed to calm himself enough to ask if Madison had mentioned why he was stepping down as Treasurer. Peggy's face was practically radiant with mirth. "That's the best part. He said he was leaving to 'focus on his personal life'." 

Despite his shock, Aaron couldn't help but find the humor in the situation. It was commonly known around campus that Madison had an arrangement with Thomas Jefferson, who also happened to be a member of the Democratic-Republicans. The Democratic-Republicans were the oldest politically affiliated organization on campus, and also happened to be the prime rivals of The Federalists. When Madison said he wanted to "focus on his personal life", what he really meant was "be able to fuck Jefferson without a conflict of interest". 

He couldn't help but laugh a little at the thought. Now The Federalists were scrambling to find a new Treasurer at the last minute, and all because Madison was dating the most abrasive personality on campus. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron wasn't expecting to hear anything more about the photography project from any of the other Federalists. After all, Madison had clearly been using it as a pretext to hit on him and make Jefferson jealous, and besides, the group would need time to find a new Treasurer, but just two days later, there was a new email sitting in the top of his inbox, entitled " Membership Photos". 

More suprising than that was the name of the sender- "Alex Hamilton". 

Aaron felt dizzy. 

Heart pounding, he clicked on the email, scrolled to the top, and-  
The email was entirely professional. It was impossible to tell whether the twisting sensation in his stomach was relief or disappointment. 

Aaron read the email. It explained that Alexander had been chosen as the new Treasurer for The Federalists, that Madison had mentioned the possible collaboration with Aaron to him, and could Aaron please meet him at the park on Thursday to discuss it?

Aaron debated deleting the email. After a few minutes of glaring at his laptop like it had personally wronged him, he sighed and pressed the respond button. 

"Alexander,   
That sounds fine. Thank you for your interest.   
-A. Burr" 

Aaron just knew he was going to regret this.


	7. Bloom

The Thursday he was meeting Alexander, Aaron found himself standing in front of his closet, nervously contemplating his clothes. 

Charles snorted derisively from his bed. "What's the matter, Burr? Got a hot date waiting for you?" He smirked like he had made the world's funniest joke, but Aaron just shot him an annoyed glance. 

The scrawny loser wasn't worth it, no matter how many taunts he threw. It did remind Aaron of one thing, though-that this was not a date. Finally, he pulled on the first shirt his hands touched and left, slamming the door behind him just to hear Charles squawk. 

He headed off to the park with a satisfied smile on his face. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alexander was standing under a large oak tree when Aaron got to the park. He was wearing the same worn blue hoodie Aaron had first seen him in, and his hair was down, spilling onto his shoulders. Aaron's heart thumped a little faster. 

As he got closer, he realized that Alexander looked....nervous. He was tapping his foot impatiently as he looked around, and-was that- was he biting his lip? 

Aaron shook his head vigorously, forcing all thoughts of Alexander's lips out of his head, and strode towards the other man a little more quickly. "Alexander," he called out. Alexander spun around to face him so suddenly that he almost fell over. 

"Oh. Aaron. Hi," he said. He smiled softly at Aaron for a few seconds, almost bashfully, before he seemed to snap back to his normal state. Alexander straightened his posture and stuck his hand out for Aaron to shake. "I'm glad you came." An awkward silence ensued, and Aaron felt his face burning with embarrasment. 

"Look, Aaron, I..." Alexander sighed heavily, scuffing his shoe in the dirt. He looked young like that, like a kid waiting to be punished by his parents. 

"I have to be honest with you. I didn't really ask you here to talk about photography. I've just...noticed you avoiding me and I wanted to apologize. For what I did. You were so drunk and you clearly aren't comfortable with what happened and I really regret it. I'm sorry."

Aaron was absolutely stunned. Alexander was standing here, in front of him, apologizing for the kiss. It was kinda sweet, if he was honest with himself, and his heart melted. But the fact remained that Aaron was stupidly, insanely into Alexander, and the words "I really regret it" rang in his ears with an oppressive volume. Alexander didn't want him. Alexander regretted what had happened. He was feeling a confusing mixture of emotions, and Aaron decided to let it go for now.

"Yes, I would not have chosen for things to happen the way that they did." Aaron was choosing his words carefully, making sure that he was telling as much of the truth as he could. (If he had his choice, Alexander would have done a hell of a lot more than just kiss him). "But it wasn't traumatic and I'm not angry with you, Alexander. It was just a bit awkward, I guess." He had to suppress a smile at the sight of Alexander visibly brightening up. He had so much vitality in everything that he did and it was infectious. 

Alexander smiled at Aaron again, this time an enthusiastic, charming smile, and thanked him profusely. "I'm so glad you feel that way. Friends?" Aaron was expecting him to shake hands again, but instead, the other man opened his arms, a clear invitation for a hug. 

He froze for a moment, but went in for the hug almost immediately. He couldn't hesitate too much or Alexander would think he was hiding something. (Which of course he was but that was besides the point.)

Aaron was surprised by the intense feelings of warmth hugging Alexander caused. He was being firmly squeezed, Alexander's arms fitting snugly under his own and wrapping around his ribcage to his back. The hug only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough for Aaron to learn what Alexander smelled like: a pleasant mixture of laundry detergent, strong coffee, and, interestingly, mangoes. 

"Friends," he confirmed as he stepped back from the hug. This was such a new development that Aaron didn't really know what to make of it, but seeing Alexander's obviously excited face, he couldn't think of a single reason why this could possibly be a bad idea. 

Until that reason showed up in an old grey car. 

Aaron and Alexander spent a considerable amount of time just sitting in the park, talking about a variety of things and generally getting to know one another. Aaron found out that Alexander was from the Caribbean, that he loved writing, and that he hoped to one day reinvent American politics. "I've got all these ideas, spinning around up here," he told Aaron, tapping the side of his head. "I think with some simple, well-regulated reforms, we could achieve so much." 

It wasn't near enough time, not for Aaron, who was still observing and cataloguing all of Alexander's strange, endearing habits, but eventually, it had to end. A grey car pulled up next to the park, and Alexander looked towards it expectantly. "Aaron," he said excitedly. "There's someone I want you to meet." 

The door of the car swung open and someone jumped out and walked out onto the grass. Aaron recognized them immediately. It was Alexander's freckled boyfriend. Aaron's heart sank. 

Alexander's smile was so wide it looked like his face would split if he smiled any harder. He jogged over to Freckles and grabbed his hand, dragging the other man over to Aaron. "This is my friend Aaron. Aaron, this is Laurens." The adoring way Alexander said the name crushed any remaining doubts Aaron had- these two were definitely involved. He tried hard not to look too shaken, mustered up a polite "pleased to meet you", but internally he was desolate. 

Alexander looked so pleased that Aaron didn't have the heart to let his forced smile flee his face. The smaller man was looking back and forth between Laurens and Aaron like he was seeing something a hell of a lot more exciting than two men meeting in a park. 

Laurens tugged on Alexander's hand and murmered something low in his year, and Alexander turned to Aaron with an apologetic look. "Sorry, Aaron. We've got to go. Catch up with you later?" 

Aaron nodded and assured Alexander that it was alright, but he was actually quite a bit disappointed. While it was a relief to be away from Laurens and the guilt he still felt tinges of, he had been really enjoying spending time with Alexander. Aaron had been surprised by the depth of Alexander's passion for doing good in the world, and he wanted to know more about him. 

On the way home that day, Aaron knew he ought to be thinking about how to stay as distant from Alexander as possible, but instead, he found himself daydreaming about the way the Caribbean man had looked with his hair down. Accepting Alexander's friendship might well turn out to be the worst decision of his life, but he was starting to think it might be worth it.


End file.
